What to do..

What do I do when you're all alone in this world. Everyone and everything has left you. Your friends are too busy with their own lives, you can't trust or talk to your boyfriend anymore, and so you lie in bed alone just thinking and talking to yourself trying to make things better. Trying to encourage myself when my chest is in so much pain.
I know what to do: I wait. I know this pain will not last. Sooner or after, I will leave. Leave everyone I know, everyone who has caused me all this pain and grief, all this sadness that has been longing for escape. Leave my friends , family and even my boyfriend. I don't want to deal with them anymore. I want to start a fresh new life with new people. I'll miss everyone I knew before but I know that I will be happy. I am sick and tired and I don't want to feel like this anymore. No one is here to help me and no one wants and accepts me. No one wants to make me feel better. If they did, they'd be here with me right now, stopping the tears streaming down my face.
"Just a few more months", I tell myself.

Oh, the Irony

So I am a bit confused as to what you are saying. You tell me that you don't like her and that you want to, and I quote: 'to completely ignore her and forget about her', but isn't deleting her off of Facebook a helpful way to forget her, that way, you don't have to see or know every little thing she is doing? I really encourage Facebook to change their 'Friends' to 'People We Know' or 'Acquaintances'.
This kinda pisses me off because it shows that you still want to know what she's up to because you have easy access to what she is doing, all pictures she posts/are tagged in, in other words, you can stalk her whenever you want, whenever you feel like it. I'm losing my trust in you and if you didn't get the hint I texted you about that's related to this -- hint, hint, delete her off of Facebook you nitwit -- I don't know what to do.

I'm getting mixed emotions about you now and they're not good.
Great way to start a new year, huh? Happy fucking New Years to me.

Can't Sleep.

I find it really annoying and hurtful when someone important to me doesn't tell me the truth or has secrets behind my back that they know I won't like or, especially this, when I see/hear something on facebook and they haven't told me anything about it. It pisses me off so much! ADLKGJHHFKGHLG Seriously, are they are ashamed to tell me? Do they now want me to know because they're afraid I'll be upset/mad/annoyed because if that is the case, then that's just plain stupid. That just makes me lose their trust in them completely because they're not tell me the whole truth, just a part of it and it makes me feel like they're hiding more stories and secrets behind my back while I'm just there making a huge fool out of myself. 

I fucking hate people. Why can't something tragic happen to me like a huge car crash, or a murder, or some reason for me not to be alive. I hate everyone around me, they're liars, cheaters, back stabbers, and I can't wait until I can get away from all this. 

There's not point of living on this earth.

Trips

So I've noticed that whenever I don't see certain people for about a week, for instance Toren, Hannah or Victor, because I'm on a trip, I stop missing them. First week, I'll complain about missing them but then after a week, I slowly forget about them but not completely of course. I'll just start minding my own business, thinking about other important things that is happening in my life at this moment and stop wasting my time on thinking, missing, and complaining about people who I will eventually see. I start having more fun and enjoying my time this way. I feel bad for saying this because I should miss them but right now, I honesty don't.
I don't want to leave the Philippines, I like hanging out with my cousins -- even if we do stay out til 4a.m. But I do miss the coldness of Vancouver and I don't want to miss this Good for Grapes concert. Just one more week here and I'll be heading home. I'm dreading it.

Goodness...

That very awkward moment when you get chased my dogs, motorcycles, goats, chickens, and any other animal you can think that lives here in the Philippines. Oh man, especially those stupid hens..

Rude.

It's so annoying when people think they can do whatever they want by constantly odering people around. People don't want to start shit up with them so they have no choice but to listen to them. If you don't listen to them, they start shit talking about you and give you constant glares. You can't to anything because it's a lose-lose situation on your side.
You listen = shows that they can boss you around.
You don't listen = you'll automatically be on their bad side.
I wish that someone would just stand up to them and let karma slap that bitch on the face.

Sorry, I'm have a hard day.

lol wut?

I find it really wierd when a girls' relationship says that they are in a relationship or are married to girl.  In my mind, I'm like, "When did she turn into a lesbian?" It's also very ironic how some of those girls strongly disagree about the topic of same sex couples/marriages. smh


lolwut?

Trust.

In most cases, it is diffictult to trust other people. I know many people who can easily trust anyone but then again, there are people who are quite opposite. It is a shame that most people think you do not trust them and start pointing fingers at you when they haven't heard both sides of the story. If they did know both sides of the story, they would just take it as a huge joke and tell them to take it easy. The person who takes it as a joke does not understand how much of a huge impact it is on the other person; they don't understand how they feel.

It is really annoying when people don't hear both sides of the story and start making these assumptions that are far from the truth. They just want to ignore the topic and never want to hear or talk about it again. If they keep running away from the problem, how will they ever know the truth, even if the truth hurts? If only they took the time to just sit down and talk -- I know this is easier said than done but it's better this way than to keep all your emotions bottled up.

Skins

After not watching any of the Skins episodes for months, I'm finally watching them again. It looks like season six will be good although it is very different from the first few seasons. Oh well, I'm going to stay up all night (probably not) to watch them. Here's the Skins trailer for seasons six:

Awh, you so cute!

 Look at this cutie; he is the best! Whenever I'm around you, I'm always happy. You still give me the butterflies and they go wild. When you compliment me on the smallest things, I still blush although I try not to. I try my best not to make a fool out of myself when you're around but that sometimes (okay, usually) doesn't work out. I can't picture myself with anyone else. Although I have my annoying doubts about us, I am still very thankful that you chose me. These past few months we've been together have been awesome. Hopefully we'll stay with each other for a long time (maybe?). I'm very happy to be with such an amazing person like you.

:)

Cats

I just noticed that when I am really bored, I take pictures of my cats. Ohmygoodness, I NEED A LIFE.

Bamfield, BC

     

     I am really going to miss Bamfield. It was the best experience for me this year and I wouldn't mind going back! I have made so many good memories with my three friends and have gotten closer to other people aswell...even though half of them were really annoying to me over the trip but oh well! I already miss my cabin, the Clam, the cafeteria, the Whale Lab, the nature (except for the stupid hills), our late night games and talks and all that. So glad I went to the trip but now I'm pooped. Goodnight :) 

Volkswagen

I was looking at cars on craigslist and I just feel in love with this really cute volkswagen van. Too bad the car is in Los Angeles ..... So now I'm sad.

Goodnight. Just kidding, I'm still going to look at more cars and get myself more depressed.

Leap Year

So this years Leap Year was interesting and I don't think I'll be doing it again. Everyone knows the story of Leap Year where it is a day where a girl can propose to their mate. If their partner says yes, then they get married. If their reply was a no, then the man has to buy the girl whatever she wanted for that day. Normally, the guy would buy her twelve mittens, a mitten for each month of the year, to hide her ring-less finger.

Well on Leap Year day, I was craving for some fried chicken. During lunch, it was snowing and I thought it was the perfect weather to propose to someone. My idea was to propose to my boyfriend, Victor, and he had to say no because we are obviously too young to marry and when he said no, I was going to make him buy me some good ol' fried chicken. So during lunch, we went to the forest near McDougal park and that was where I proposed to him. I told him to say no but he wanted to say no then yes. No because he wanted to buy me friend chicken and yes because... well I don't know why actually. But anyways, I proposed to him, he said no, I got happy and then I asked him if he was going to buy me friend chicken and he said yes. Then he said that his plan worked because he had said no and then yes. I didn't think it counted but oh well, I didn't care, I had chicken that day anyways even though it wasn't fried chicken but I still had chicken. I was happy.

It's so sad that guys have to propose one day, I was actully nervous when I asked him even though I wasn't exactly serious. Oh well!

Music

I've been trying to listen to up beat-ish music instead of those slow, boring (as people would call it) music like Bon Iver and so far, the Shins "Simple Song" is at the top of my list. I like the beat and also the words to it, especially the chorus.

The next song I like is Flathead by Fratellis. I like bands that harmonize with each other like this band, and also Marianas Trench and Good for Grapes. Also, the music video is very.... interesting; although sometimes I don't like watching it because it makes me feel so insecure.

My last song that I love listening to right now is Hello by Martin Solveig ft. Dragonette. That song just makes me want to get up and dance and I don't even like to dance! Whenever I walk home and I'm listening to this song, I bob my head up and down which makes me look like a fool but oh well! The music video reminds me of my childhood when I would sometimes watch tennis with my dad.

Phew...

For familiy studies, we have to do a project and the topic is about relationships. I didn't want to make a scrapbook or a powerpoint (powerpoints lame) so I decided to make a website. I just finished right now and I have to say, I really do like the website I made. All I have to do is proof-read it and do a bit of finishing touches and then I'm all done! But I'll do that tomorrow though... I had to finish the project tomorrow (well today) but the offical dead-line is on thrusday, so yay, I'm ahead of schedule-- that's a first.

Here's my website.

Tired

This week went by very slowly and I am so glad that it's the weekend.I've had so many things in my mind but then again, I do over-think things and think about negative thoughts regularily.

Now, my lips are chapped from talking with Toren for hours, talking about life in general. Oh well, I'm glad we had that talk; it feels like a lot of weight have been lifted up from my shoulders. But we were fatties, eating KFC (my lent isn't really working out), drinking Starbuck's beverages and then getting two bags of Jolly Ranchers at Shoppers.

Aha. Aha. Aha.

So today, Toren and I saw The Women in Black and I died a little. I was so tense during the whole movie and was ripping Toren's sweater from holding on to it too tight. I thought it was a good horror movie although I do get scared easily but overall, I really like the movie. It was probably because Daniel Radcliffe was in it though. And I'm pretty sure me and Toren were the only people freaking out the whole time. Kinda sad... but oh well!

And then I almost drowned when we went swimming because Toren kept making me laugh when we went swimming. He was either being stupid like always or maybe it was because I was really, really, really hyper. And he wouldn't stop splashing me with water at my face. But today was a good day. :)

Also, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, VICTOR!! I've been telling you this so many times that it's probably annoying now, but hey, is okay! You have no idea how happy I am to be with you. Don't believe me? Well you should! :-p

Good for Grapes

The first time I heard them was when I went to the Battle of the Bands at the Rio theatre and I loved them ever since. The lead singer (Daniel McBurnie) used to go to the same school as Gaily and I thought that was cool and Chelsea loves Alexa that she even asked for her autograph.

Although here's a tip: never go to their concert with me because I don't exactly act like myself; it's kinda embarassing I have to admit. But I cannot wait until I go to their next performance!

Valentine's Day

You are so sweet. You have no idea how much you've made my day, seriously. I loved all of it. Thank you for everything :)

Happy Valentine's Day!